Military Leadership as a Woman Officer | Degrees of Success™ Podcast Episode 13

0:00 - What is the evolution of being a woman in the military look like in your experience? 0:06 - Yeah. I think it's, it's one thing to be a woman, but it's another thing to be a, a black woman. 0:13 The first day on base, my commander, a female 0:18 commander, introduced me as a black new lieutenant. 0:23 That was her introduction. I would like to introduce goodness to my new black lieutenant. 0:44 - Welcome to the Degrees of Success podcast. I'm your host, Freda Richards. And today we have an incredible guest, Dr. 0:51 Shirley Dominic, Dr. Shirley. Dominic is a retired Air Force officer, 0:57 a successful entrepreneur, and the driving force behind willing warriors. 1:02 She's on an incredible journey that includes marking her faith, her determination, 1:07 and an unwavering commitment to service. She's a true inspiration and we're so happy to have her here on the podcast. 1:15 Dr. Shirley, thank you for joining us. - Thank you, Frida. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you. 1:22 - Of course. We're so excited to have you. And what I didn't say is that you are a University of Phoenix alumni. 1:28 - Yay. Yay. Absolutely. Absolutely. - Excellent. Well, we wanna jump right in 1:35 and talk about your foundation and where it all started. So tell me about your childhood. You grew up on a farm without water 1:42 and you're one of 11 children. - Yes, that is absolutely true. 1:48 You know, looking back and, and really kind of seeing where we are today 1:55 and realizing not having running water is kinda 2:00 earth shaking to me, but that's where we started. Yeah. And so growing up on a farm there in South Carolina 2:08 with 11 children, 10 siblings, we were farmers and our life was very, very simple. Early experiences in the military 2:17 The parents that surrounded us with, you know, we say faith, having us in church on every Sunday, 2:26 making sure that core values, the morals were there, 2:32 the community helped raise us. 'cause my dad had, he was one of 14 children, 2:39 so having that community right around you, that you walk across the street and, 2:45 and sit there on the porch with grandma, you know, and grandma, of course has a well over there, 2:50 and everything was just so basic and so free and so clean, if you would. 2:57 - How did that, like, that regimented schedule and expectation from your mother 3:06 and family, how did those values align as you've moved through your career? 3:12 - Mom picked me to go to town with her and had no idea that that one trip 3:19 to town would change my entire life. So I go into town with her. 3:25 We went to Piggly Wiggly Shopping, and I walked in and I saw this amazing, beautiful black female 3:33 with the blue uniform on. And literally she was walking, like she had owned a store. 3:40 And I followed this lady, I followed her from Al Alpha Owl. I even forgot. I was there with my mom, literally forgot. 3:47 Had no idea what military was, had no idea, but uniform. But I was inspired to go to the library that Monday morning 3:56 and find out like what branch of service, you know, where does lady come from? 4:03 And I discovered that she was, she was the Air Force, and it was that time I decided that I would, 4:10 I would be in the Air Force. - I love that you refer to that as your aha moment. - Oh, 100%. It was truly my aha. 4:18 And to think about it though, we had, we had a TV in the house at some point, 4:26 but we were, it was very strict as to we gonna watch the news, which we hated. 4:33 You know, we're gonna watch maybe one TV show, but we just didn't have access to anything 4:40 that would show me military or show me anybody of a model that I, 4:45 that would cap in my mind. - Right. - But this one trip change, let's say it really changed my world. 4:52 - Tell us about that process. So tell me about you enlisting and, and your, the way that you worked through your career. 5:00 - I know that the day that I graduate, I was going to be in the Air Force. 5:06 And so I went to the recruiter's office. I took the, the test to get in, and they were ecstatic 5:12 because I, I had a, a strong background in, in math, I love math. And so I did well on the math test. 5:20 And, and this recruiter looked at me and he said, the Air Force wants you. 5:27 And I said, my dream is here. I want the Air Force. 5:32 I cannot get in touch with the recruiter. Nobody is answering the phone. My mom said to me, you know, what kind 5:38 of, what, what are you gonna do? You, you, you, you're graduated already. You need to figure out life. 5:44 And so I ended up going to college. My first day on campus, 5:50 I saw someone in a blue uniform, had no idea about ROTC. 5:55 And I went up to him and asked him about, you know, the military, what uniform he was, and he said, 6:01 he told me about the program. And he said, if you are smart in math, 6:07 you could probably get a scholarship. And I was like, okay, I'm pretty good at math. 6:12 I took the test and sure enough, I got a full scholarship. And that's what led me into becoming an officer. 6:20 - Right. - But God had a plan that was so different. And, and so that led to my, my 6:27 22 years in the, in the Air Force as an officer. - Oh. So you got to experience your dream for 22 years. Facing bias and breaking barriers 6:35 - It was quite a ride, - I imagine. So I also know, so my mother was in the military. 6:41 She's recently retired just last year. - Oh, - Nice. Okay. And, and she said that the, like the relationship, 6:47 like the way that women are treated and men are treated could be a little different. It's changed throughout the years since she's been 6:53 there since she was 19. She just retired at 60, so, you know, so it's definitely evolved. 7:00 Tell me, tell me about that. What, what is the evolution of being a woman in the military look like in your experience? 7:08 - Yeah. I think it's, it's one thing to be a woman, but it's another thing to be a, a black woman 7:14 because you have it almost like, you know, you got strikes against you walking in it. 7:20 It's, no one is gonna say it, but it's real. My first assignment, the first day on base, 7:28 my commander, female commander introduced me as a black new lieutenant. 7:37 That was her introduction. Oh my goodness, I would like to introduce you to my new black lieutenant. 7:43 That was painful. Why did she have to say that? And so we sat with her that afternoon and, 7:51 and just wanted to air what we felt was offensive. - Yeah. - And that caused our career 7:58 to go completely down, because she thought that, you know, 8:03 you should not question me. Her answer to us was, you are black, aren't you? 8:10 And we, we never could get on the same page. 8:16 And our, our relationship, our career was made very difficult early on because just trying to ask basic questions, trying 8:24 to get a better understanding as to that statement. As a farm girl, we just weren't educated to 8:33 that world, the real world. Now you in there and you have to have a different fight 8:39 or not knowing how to fight because the command is different. 8:45 You, you have a position, you stay in your position, you don't speak out against anything. 8:52 You're not, you know, you're not authorized, do that. And so it's a, it was a struggle, you know, in, in, 9:00 in both directions, female and, and, and being, you know, black. 9:06 And so looking back, I think about the, 9:12 the pain that one person in a one generation may have 9:19 to take 40 next generation two to be able to propel. And I know others that had to do the same for me 9:27 to even be in the military as a black female. And so there was definitely some, some growth. 9:36 But I would say too, along the way, as a person, it causes you to either, you know, 9:44 get tough in the race or you die. And at some point, you, for me, it was, I, 9:53 I'm not gonna let this beat me. I'm going to have to be in a fight and I'm gonna have to win through all of this. 10:01 And so for every one of those paying, there's growth. If you allow yourself to do that, 10:08 - What would your advice be to other black women in the military? - I have to think beyond myself. 10:15 I, you know, where you see the pain for you today, what about tomorrow? 10:21 Can I fight through this? And when you decide that I am not necessarily looking at me, 10:29 but I'm looking at future, the fight become different. It is, it's not necessarily about me anymore. 10:36 It is now about what I can pass on, how I can pay this thing forward. 10:44 Because we have certain rights in the ineligible rights 10:50 that were fought for us to have. Why don't we, we're, we're talking basic, right? 10:56 And so I would say stay to the course, do it for the future. 11:02 - That's excellent advice. And I can tell you that I couldn't align with 11:07 that thought more. I know that everything I do, I'm standing on the shoulders 11:13 of my grandmother, my great-grandma, my mother, and so on and so forth, who, you know, my, 11:19 my grandmother was in the streets when they were, you know, fighting for civil rights. They were doing the hoes, you know? Oh, yeah. Yeah. 11:27 And so, I love what you said, stay focused on the goal. - Absolutely. - You were at the military for 22 years, 11:35 and then you retire 22 years later. Tell me about those next steps - To be able to retire. 11:41 My thought was, okay, I will retire and I'm finally gonna be that mom that could be there 11:48 for my three children. Not that I wasn't before in the military, but in a different way. 11:54 I could be there, be the mom, be the wife, you know, do all the, you know, stuff around the house, you know, 12:03 Betty Crocker, whatever. My world changed it. Like you retire. 12:08 And one of the things that caused a huge shift was my mom 12:15 pretty much died on her way to my retirement. And my life had changed. 12:22 So my last conversation with my mom was that she was going to move in with us. 12:28 She was gonna move from South Carolina and we're gonna move from Boston to Virginia. And we've had the house, you know, being built, 12:35 and she was gonna be moving in with us. And, and then she died. 12:41 And so I, it, it, it had jilled me to a point that it took me a long time to Leadership lessons from the Air Force 12:52 put things in perspective. Now my mom is not here after all this time. 12:58 My mom is not here. I'm trying to be a different mom, a mom in a different way. 13:06 So I find myself getting very depressed, literally depressed, because, 13:12 and the reason I, I can reflect back on it, be when I see that boxes were sitting for, for months, I, I couldn't even, 13:19 I didn't know how to move them, didn't know where to go with them. 13:25 I, I did something kind of out of the box. 13:31 I thought I'd volunteer at my little one's school, she in elementary school at the time. And maybe I'd just help with the children. 13:38 You know, I'll, I'll, I'll do that. And basic little coloring assignment. I couldn't even, I wasn't interested in, I wasn't, I, 13:46 I just couldn't do it. And then I began to realize that just there is something going on here 13:53 that's probably more than I wanna realize. - Right. - And so, 14:01 but that took me to looking at the opportunities outside of the house, again, to get myself out. 14:10 And I started working for Verizon, you know, as a contractor for the government. 14:16 And, and then shortly after that, starting my IT company 14:22 and, and then of course being led to this nonprofit, which was a whole different world 14:29 - For me. Definitely. But it's aligned with who you are as a person, which is a servant leader and caring and giving to others. 14:35 So that, that makes great sense. But I don't wanna skip over your IT company. 14:41 So tell me about that journey. So you, you go, you work at for Verizon as a contractor? - Yeah. Yeah. I did that for three years. 14:48 And I, I had an opportunity now to to to go out on my own. 14:58 And it was a scary thing because, you know, being in the military, you were protected 15:04 and everything kind of, you know, teed up for you. And then now you are going into the 15:12 company owner contracting world for yourself. 15:17 It was just a different feel for me, yet I realized that it was, 15:26 it was that time. It was like, God opened a door for me, so why not 15:33 step in that and it's faith again to see what happens. 15:39 - Truly. Well, I can understand you, you being fearful. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. No. Oh, absolute. But I can understand you being fearful going from military 15:48 to civilian life in military. It's so, it's so much community, it's Oh, people. Oh, yeah. 15:56 And that it reflects similar to your childhood, where you have 10 other siblings 16:01 and you guys are all focused on the same goal led by your mother. And then as you leave the military, you leave 16:08 that large community, the leader of your original community passes. - Yeah. Yeah. 16:14 - And you're still trying to find the identity of who you are as a mother, trying to expand that. 16:19 Yeah. Which as mothers, I feel like we all do. We're always trying to be better and bigger 16:25 and stronger for our children, right? Yeah. So, but then to have your mother gone 16:33 and your community gone all at the same time, tr going into civilian life, it just, it just had 16:40 to be earth shaking. - Yeah. It's just different. You, you're kind of, you know, silo, you, you're realizing, 16:47 gosh, you know what, I'm it, I'm the bus boy, I am the secretary, I am Oh yeah, yeah. 16:54 Finance, I, you're it. Right. And so I admire, I've learned the value 17:00 of small business and the fact that I take nothing for granted 17:07 because, you know, there's a price for everything to move. 17:12 And so, you know, I, I admire those that are in small business 17:18 and I appreciate great relationship is that, you know, and, and, and the connectivity that we get now. 17:25 We said we have a different family now, a small business family. And then now when I sit with, you know, other companies, 17:33 I, I say I, I don't need 50 companies, you know, to work with. I need five good ones that we can trust 17:41 and we can call family and, and work together. - Absolutely. That community is, it's so important. 17:48 And relationships in business is obviously essential to be successful. Tell me about your actual business. 17:55 Tell me what it is that you, that you all do. - Yeah, yeah. So we do, I, I sit IT support for the government. 18:03 Most of our work is in the Intel community. And we focus on four main areas, cybersecurity, 18:09 cloud computing, data analytics. So your data, you'll appreciate some of that. Life after service & starting Willing Warriors 18:15 And then a whole smattering of what I would call, you know, your IT support, all your system engineering, 18:21 network engineering, telecommunications, you name it. We do under that umbrella. 18:27 But we're eight a certified, of course, woman owned. We have, you know, we of course woman owned. 18:36 And then we have a number of certifications behind us as well as a GSA mass schedule. 18:42 - That's incredible. So you, you're a veteran, you're a mom, 18:48 you are an entrepreneur, and then in the midst of all of this, you get another degree at University of Phoenix. 18:54 How are you balancing all of these things? - That was kind, you know, crazy. I, I think sometimes we strive with pressure. 19:04 It's like you strive and, and it's amazing how much you can get done 19:10 in 24 hours. True. You just, you, you drive to do it. And, and, and I would say that, 19:17 but I can't say it without having a, a armor of support around me 19:24 because I, out of the 11 of us, my 10 siblings, nine of us are in the area. 19:32 I have 42 nieces and nephews. So I have an armor of people 19:38 and my husband is like completely supportive. And so everything we do, it's not just me, it's, 19:48 it's like a team of people that make life better so that I could do this. 19:54 They were there for me. And I was able to do, you know, to get my doctorate degree at the University of Phoenix. 20:00 It, which is a beautiful thing. - That is, it is a beautiful thing. So you're gonna have to tell me more about your experience 20:06 here at University of Phoenix, because I know that with balancing a company at this point, how long had you, 20:15 when you started your degree, how long had you had the new company? - I started back in 2006, 20:22 officially January, 2006. So I had just started the company probably about, well, 20:28 about the same time, you know, actually about the same time. 'cause I graduated in 2008, so I, I started 20:37 University of Phoenix prior to the company starting. But jumping in there and just making things happen. 20:45 - Oh my goodness. Tell me what your doctorate is in. - It's in management. Organizational leadership. 20:51 - Organizational leadership. So you're, you have a DBA or a dm. 20:58 - Yeah, a dm. - You have a dm - DM - Just pushing through, I mean, you had a family marriage, you just retired, 21:08 your mother's passed. You are still number four out of 11. And I know that in itself has a lot of responsibilities. 21:15 - Yeah, yeah. - Right. Like I imagine - That's what Absolutely. That's what you do. Right? 21:21 - And then you have these three babies. So, and I heard you say that your children also have advanced degrees. So tell me about your kids. 21:27 - Yeah, so what's interesting there, so they are, and I say kids now, they're grown. 21:33 So my, my youngest is actually 31. 31, and then the middle one's 33 21:40 and then 35. So imagine having seven sisters, 21:48 three daughters, three granddaughters, and, and number four granddaughter would be here Thanksgiving. 21:55 So, yes. So my, my, we we're, we're a girl world. I think that's what we're gonna call ourselves. 22:02 But we did have a, a grandson in May. So he's six month old Giannis. 22:10 And, and so they are all very, when I say creative people, 22:17 my middle daughter is a high-end fashion designer. 22:23 The, she been traveling across the world. She does, I mean, you name it. 22:29 But she has her own company and she, she's the one, she has the three girls. There are four, three in one. Advice for women in leadership 22:35 - Wow. - And then will have the fourth girl Thanksgiving. So, but they have their 22:44 careers going. My youngest daughter, she's a videographer. She's been working for the armor for the last four years. 22:52 I finally got her back in February to start working for my company, agile business. 22:58 And, and so she's like my right hand now working with, with my company. 23:04 But she has her own company going as well and doing her videography type work. 23:10 And then my oldest, who just had the, the first boy and she's working in, in, in the Intel community, 23:19 but she's doing more web development, graphic design, all that creative stuff. 23:24 Yes. That one would have. And I also say, gosh, well my children please 23:31 where, where the doctors, where are the engineers? Where are I? How are you gonna make money? 23:37 You, I'm saying You are. And you know, in fact, I, I, I sent them all, there's an, 23:42 a beautiful art article that, that outline the, the 10 worst degrees to have. 23:49 And my three children had the top three. I was like, oh God. Oh my goodness. Seriously, I, I think we're gonna have 23:57 to work for the rest of our lives. Gosh, - My goodness. Okay, well, you're gonna have to tell me the top three, because I can almost guarantee you that I have one of them. 24:04 - Yes. Yeah. So the top three, the, the, the number one 24:10 is a degree in art. My, my oldest daughter have an art degree, like one, 24:16 I see why they call it starving artists, you know, there was a reason behind all that. But she had flipped that 24:23 and turned it into graphic design, web development. And she's doing extremely well. Like, okay. 24:32 And then you got your, another designer, the fashion designer, you know, which, okay, 24:38 everybody wanna draw and cut little dolls and, you know, all that. But how do you make that a business? You know? 24:44 And like, she, she literally had propelled like, literally blew my mind. 24:52 And, and of course the video videographer, it, it's, it's interesting how the paradigm have shifted 24:58 because now everything is about the media. 25:04 You know, how, how can you make me look and, you know, how fast can you get it out? And so it, it just fell right into 25:12 that videography world that my daughter loved so well, I'm doing well. 25:18 I, I have literally no complaints. They, they're, they're not hearing me talk about being a doctor or engineer anymore. 25:27 You are doing well. Okay. - Who was that inspiration for you? - I would say my mom. Yeah. My, my mom. 25:34 Then my inspiration for sure. Just looking back to see what she had to 25:42 do to not only raise the, the 11 children, but my mom worked outside of the home. 25:49 And when I say she was a, a school bus driver, she also did teach teacher's aid. 25:56 And she also had a, a pro street business. So she, she was an entrepreneur for sure. 26:03 She was gonna How do, how, like how do you do all this? Well, you know, she taught me 26:08 to sew when I was, I don't know, two years old. She, she brought everybody to the table. 26:14 - She has a, a working farm of cucumbers and cotton and, and many more items, which I imagine she then sold in town. 26:22 - Yeah. No, well, yeah, absolutely. We would take it to the market, you know, and I said we, my dad would, 26:29 and yeah, that's how we, we made life. - So, and then she was, she also sewed 26:36 and had had other entrepreneurial, so your mom 26:41 was a superhero, clearly. What? Yep. What, what's her name? 26:47 - Lucille. - Lucille. I'm gonna call her Miss Lucille. 'cause that's how I was raised. 26:52 So Miss Lucille was an entrepreneur. So like, prior to anyone really like having a hustle 27:00 or a grind, like, she literally had a farm that she had her 11 children working on a sewing business. 27:07 She was a bus driver and still managed 11 children. 27:13 I have two babies at home. And, and that in itself is a lot 27:21 - Here. Here's what I, I, I just had a thought of my mom coming to spend three months with me when I was in Boston, 27:29 my last assignment. And I, the children at the time would probably 27:34 age six and four, they had to take a guess. But I remember my mom looked at me one day 27:41 and she said, Shirley, you're doing things wrong. I was like, shake up. Thanks. 27:50 When you're doing all you can do and your mom is saying you, you're doing things wrong. 27:56 What, what? Right. And I, you know, part of me just saying, what's now? 28:01 What else? And, and she said, you know, you, you're talking 28:06 to those children too much. You're saying things repeatedly. 28:11 And I'm like, whatever. And so I'm looking over at the middle one, 28:18 and I said, she'd probably been six at the time. And I said, I said, go clean your room, 28:24 cut the TV off. And she just kept looking at the tv. 28:30 Okay. And so I took the remote cut TV off, and she looked at me and she said, mom, why did you do that? 28:40 I was going to clean the room. So my, my, my mom point was well taken. 28:46 You need to say it once and they need to know, but you really mean that. 28:51 Mm, it's not. And I think that's because we get busy and we get busy, and, and after a while you just give in. 28:57 And you didn't even forget that the TV was on. I, I don't even care. Just, just whatever. So that's just how we, we do things. 29:04 But no, her point was well taken. We we're, we we're seen it. - And I imagine being in the military is 29:13 where it birthed in you the desire to take care of. 29:19 And I imagine that you've seen a few things within your 22 years of service, which again, thank you 29:24 so much for your service. - Oh, great. - But I imagine that's where the heart for your incredible project willing warriors came from. 29:33 I also know that there was a 40 day challenge. So tell me more about that. - Yeah, that's, it's very, 29:39 and when I think of 40 now, I have a different perspective because our pastor wanted us 29:45 to go out into the small group. And at that time, it was really, when I say small group, 29:52 the church was still in a, a schoolhouse. So, you know, those small groups that had been developed, 29:59 you know, since 2003, 2006, now it's time for you to step out of the foresight of these walls Final thoughts & motivation 30:08 and just do something for the community and come back and tell us after 40 days what the impact, 30:16 you know, and I often think about what that 40 days meant for us, because we, the small group, about 10 of us decided 30:25 that we would go to Walter Reed to visit the Wounded Warriors. And honestly, I, 30:33 I'm was somewhat reluctant because I am not a hospital type person. I just, I'd rather, you know, help in another direction. 30:42 But I figure, you know, it's, it's only one, one trip. WW we'll be good. And so going there 30:50 in 2006, and so trying to put a framework around it. 30:56 So imagine being there at the Malone House where a lot of the warriors were being, you know, 31:01 they were recovering from, I mean, all kinds of different situation, you know, some 31:09 of 'em, of course, physical, but a lot of mental, you know, the, the post-traumatic stress 31:14 and, you know, the traumatic brain injury, just str literally struggling with, with family situations. 31:23 They were all there and the place was packed around Christmas time. 31:28 So you can imagine that whole kind of festive type look and feel. This group is waiting on us to, to have this, you know, 31:37 to visit with them. And, you know, I, we got there around three o'clock. 31:43 We had the events started at four 30. We had 50 gift bags with us. 31:48 They were full of toiletries, necessities, things like that. And then we had a, a 25 gift card 31:55 that came from Walmart and Target. And so 50, the gift bag, we figured, well, you know what? Make our first run, I think we're gonna be good. 32:02 One of the girls in the group, she knew someone from Domino's Pizza, and they decided that, you know what, they would love 32:10 to deliver pizza while we do this, kind of make it like a little party. And I'm thinking, this is a pizza party, you know? 32:16 And so, yes, but, but here we are there at three o'clock and at four o'clock I'm looking around 32:24 and everything we had was gone. The 50 gift bag, gift cards, the pizza was gone. 32:34 And I'm saying, we, we hadn't even started this party yet. What, what I mean, right. Why, why, why are we here? 32:39 Why, why we need to pack up and leave. Everyone was having a conversation with Warriors 32:49 three and a half hours later. We couldn't pull the group from the Malone house. 32:55 They did not want to leave. Nobody wanted to leave. I remember coming back from Walter Reed, 33:02 which is about an hour a half from, from where I live. And, and no one said a word. 33:09 It was like the, the, the, the truck was silent. Didn't know what to say. I, I, I, 33:15 I'd never seen anything like it personally. And I said, I served for 22 years. I'd never seen a group that hung on to strangers. 33:25 Right? And so we got home and pulled up in the garage, and my husband looked over 33:30 and he said, we, we, we, we gotta do more. Fast forward 2011 Christmas time, 33:36 we're now at 500 plus gift bags. At some point there, there was a wounded warrior 33:43 that had a vision of a place, had no idea where the place was. 33:49 He, shortly after we established the nonprofit, he 33:56 told us about his vision. I remember, I, I tell people now, I know when you feel restless, really feel restless, 34:04 because something happened that night. I got up and I remember things that he was saying. 34:11 He, he said there was a house. He said it was on 77 acres, 34:16 and he said it was surrounded by trees. It's on a mountain, and you could see hills. 34:22 And it was a black fence. And he, he with very Pacific things. And, and I got up that morning four o'clock, 34:29 and I kid you not, I, I, I googled 77 acres, Virginia. 34:35 And this house showed up. It was 4.2 miles from my house, 4.2 miles, 34:42 - 4.2 miles - From my house. And so, - Oh my goodness, I, - I didn't tell my husband, 34:48 but I just went on that morning about eight o'clock. And, and I remember just getting to the foot of the property 34:55 and, and what, what really, really got me was there was, he mentioned there were horses. 35:04 He mentioned black fence. And I remember key things that he said, and I pulled up and there was a black fence. 35:10 It, it, that concerned me. But what more concerning was four horses literally came toward my car. 35:17 The Washington Post came and it did a spread on the entire event. 35:23 There was a guy out in Fairfax, 20 minutes away, he wrote a handwritten letter to the retreat. 35:31 He saw the renderance in the paper, and he said, I recognize house. 35:37 He said, I lived there with the Langs, I was the adopted son. 35:43 And he went through and told what, how the Langs were just giving people. 35:50 He said, I know my Uncle Lang is dancing in heaven right now. 35:56 Because when he was in the military in the Navy, he served wounded warriors. 36:02 - That is incredible. I, I know that you referred to it as the, the destiny aspect. 36:09 And I can see exactly how that aligns, because from what I'm hearing you say you were meeting 36:17 with another wounded warrior and he was giving you his vision. - I, I just believe that there are certain things that you 36:26 supposed to do that you were designed to do. And I think we all have a call to do something. 36:36 We may not even know what that is, but if we listen, it's something about existing. 36:44 And then again, what are we listening? Are we really listening? When we bought this 11,000 square foot house, 36:53 the built 1977 needed all this work. The best that my husband 36:59 and I could even muster up was we'll try to get some, 37:05 some, I don't know, some furniture from the goodwill. We'll try to, you know, we we're just thinking about 37:11 as much as we could think. But the community came in and said, Uhuh, let's tear down the walls. 37:18 Let's make it a handicap accessible. Let's do this. Let's, they came from everywhere. 37:25 Now it's more of an offering that we can put out there and say, you want to give back? 37:34 Here's what you can do. Now, children come with their parents. 37:40 Parents are making sure that they're integrated into giving back. 37:46 You know, those that have lost loved ones saying, you know what? I feel now I can do something for somebody else. 37:54 You know, it, it becomes a, a win-win and win, you know, for everybody. 38:01 So we had the first house had no idea that we were gonna have a second house. And PenFed Foundation gave us 300,000 38:11 in seed money. The community came behind that. They put another 400,000 of work on top of that pro bono. 38:19 And at the second house and the third house, they gave us another half million 38:24 dollars to do what we call the Grand Lodge. And when I say grand large, you've got to come 38:29 and see what we call grand large. We had no idea this was gonna happen. 38:34 And so we did a ribbon cutting on the Grand Lodge in May. And so the beauty of this grand lodge though, is 38:42 since we had our ribbon cutting in July, 2015, 38:47 we have been able to have over 2,500 warriors and family come through that retreat. 38:54 And so this, give them that battle buddy that, you know, that connection that they really need. 39:00 And, but the community have played such a, a huge role in making this happen. 39:07 - That has been a constant for you in your life from - Oh, - The community of having a large family 39:14 to the community of the military, and then even in your civilian life, no, 39:19 you have your community and your business where you are, you know, partnering with people that you are close to and that you trust. 39:27 And then you start this incredible community. I I, you said over 2,500 plus have been 39:35 touched in with these incredible homes. Can you give me an example 39:41 or tell me a story of one of the warriors that you assisted? 39:46 - We had a, a group of warriors that had not seen each other in over 10 years. 39:53 They have now, some have families, they have children, spouses, whatever. 40:00 And here we are where we have a, a laundry list of 40:09 activities for these warriors to select from. One of those things would be, oh, would you like 40:15 to have a pastor to come and just talk with you? And, and so it was checked all along. 40:24 And so I said to the pastor at my church that we have a group of warriors there 40:32 and did like a visit. So visit that we offer all of them, 40:37 but this group of warriors want a visit. I told the pastor about it, and he sent one of the pastors. 40:46 But along the way, as this pastor was leaving the church, there was a marine person that was helping out 40:53 for the day at church. And he said, well, what are you, what are you up 40:58 to this afternoon? Would you like to go with me? And told him where he was going. Absolutely. 41:05 They go to the retreat there, supposedly a 30 minute visit. They were there for more than four hours. 41:14 - Wow. - It was such a heartwarming 41:19 visit for them. And it was an outlet. They felt safe. 41:25 And so I got a call from the pastor as he was leaving. 41:31 He said, I've never had anything like this, and I wonder what would've happened if I did not grab this 41:38 Marine on my way out? Because he was the one that brokered that conversation. 41:45 - Right. - And so it become healing at the end of the day for these warriors 41:51 and their families to finally get to a point where they have an outlet, they can have a space for conversation 42:01 and, and then heal in the process. - That's incredible. You've gone from whole hospital visits to the, 42:10 the retreats to the three homes. What was your overall goal and what is your overall feeling and power and drive in willing warriors? 42:19 - So the, the, the, the tribe now is to save 42:24 not just a warrior, save that generation. 'cause 'cause when you lose a warrior, you, you, you, 42:31 you lose generation 22 a day 42:37 is now one less. - That is powerful. - We have a job to do every day, like every day. 42:45 - Your, your work is so important - For sure. You know, I think that's what what gets me outta bed, 42:52 because there is, there is one more for that I could help. One more that the community wants to help 43:00 and we find them and we make it happen for them. - We will make sure that even as you were saying, 43:07 that we will have the website for people to, to find and to reach out 43:14 and for, for warriors to find that, that community, because to your point, their life has purpose. 43:20 - Yeah. - And you are giving them the opportunity to heal. - Very, very - Important. We're so grateful for that. 43:26 - Yeah. I'm very important. Very important. They just need to know. - Absolutely. So what's, what's next? 43:32 - What I see now is an opportunity for us to, 43:38 if you would call it franchise to other places across the country. And so the thought would be that we would franchise 43:46 what we're doing here. - If somebody wanted to reach out to you to jump on 43:51 expanding your vision, where in what Yeah. Would they do to do - That? 43:57 I would say contact us through the website, you know, willing warriors.org. Contact us and we'll get you connected with the team. 44:06 - I'm humbled by your servant heart. And I, I pray that one of these come to Arizona 44:12 so I can serve, because that would be incredible that I'd, I'd have the opportunity to serve people who have served me. 44:19 But I wanna give you the floor, the, the floor is yours. If there's anything that you wanna make sure that our listeners or viewers here and, 44:26 and see you say, what would that be? - Yeah. I think for me now at the age 64, 44:33 you know, and, and seeing some things along the way, 44:40 64 happened pretty fast. And I look at the next season of my life 44:49 and I, I think sometime when we start looking back, that first second 44:58 portion of your life, it runs so fast. And, and I said, what would I have done differently? 45:07 What impact could have made? What, what would've changed? One of the thing that I don't know if I see coming 45:16 so fast is life, life hits you and all of a sudden this season is gone. 45:23 And, and for me, one of the thing that I probably would, 45:28 would be more mindful of is the opportunity to mentor, to see someone 45:38 that just, there are so many, I'm, I'm, I'm being more intentional now. 45:46 I see a, a youngster that just I can put, you know, lock arms with and say, you know what? 45:55 I, I, I've been there. I can provide some nuggets to this little one. You know? 46:02 And, and so wherever we are in our life, what does that end look like for us? 46:07 And what do we be mindful of? What is it that we want to leave that will be an impact 46:15 for life for someone else to hand off? - You can get so busy that life is just flying by. 46:21 You don't even recognize it. - It flies by, I mean, before you know it, the children are, you know, five 10, 46:28 graduated from high school, want college. And we are literally trying to run the basketball game, 46:36 run the football game, run it the new, you know, so - You, instead of being present, you - Gotta be present. 46:41 - Yeah. - We really gotta be present. That's Yeah. - Be present. And then I heard you say be present 46:47 because life is moving fast. And then also serve - Oh, 100% serve. 46:53 And that present serve because you look at everything that you go through in life. 46:58 We said, why if, if the why wasn't to grow you or for you to help somebody else grow, 47:06 then we were, we're left with an empty why. It's like that was, if there was a reason why we were taken 47:13 through this so that now we could, that'll serve somebody else. 47:18 - Absolutely. I mean, and a lot of that comes from the leader. They're definitely seeing your servant heart. So thank you for all that you've done. 47:25 Thank you for spending this time with us. - Thank you. - And, and sharing this, you know, incredible journey. 47:30 And then of course, this, this beautiful nonprofit that's literally saving lives. We have a very large veteran community at 47:39 University of Phoenix. I actually just left the Veteran's Day parade with our big University of Phoenix balloon where we had to, 47:45 we got the opportunity to celebrate. - Very nice. - Yes. - Yeah. So - Exciting. Yes, we take great pride in, in that community 47:51 and our students that have served or, or are serving currently. So thank you for a one year service 47:57 and for serving those who have served. We greatly appreciate you. Thank you for joining us today, 48:03 because I know you're also a very busy woman. - Oh, so, so honored to do it. I do appreciate it. 48:08 - You were amazing. - You too, too. Thank you - So much for joining us in even spending this time with us. - Absolutely. - Somehow that brings us to the end 48:15 of this episode of Degrees of Success. I am your host, Frida Richards. We are so grateful that you had the opportunity to join us. 48:23 Don't forget to like and subscribe and don't forget that this next chapter just might be your best one yet. 48:30 See you guys next time.